self-discoveries

The great thing about my job is that I've discovered teaching is not for me. However the bad thing about my job is that I am, in fact, teaching... for a year.



Poor kids.

chez nous

funny brands

 Eric can hear everything we say. Like talking to your neighbor through tin cans. Only with windows. And as adults.

Our "walk-in closet" (because we can't figure out what else to do with this room!)

bathroom

Our bedroom/ kitchen/ dining room/ lounge... and Eric using the wifi.

Candra cutting fruit and telling me not to take a picture.

Our neighbors airing their dirty laundry.

State-of-the-art powerless open-air washing machine.

more airing of the neighbors' dirty laundry (you're welcome! :P)

The apartment complex from the front. Will show the gate / school later!

Come if you want, get out if you can.

The power is supposedly going out at some point this weekend. I'm hoping it will be tomorrow (rather, I'm hoping not at all!) because I want a shower tonight... and apparently water gets shut off in the process.

Candra says that since I've been here, nothing she warned me about has happened. We hear very few gunshots, the power has only dimmed once, the weather has been tolerably hot, and we have yet to see critters in our apartment (other than an occasional gecko). 

Between hanging out at the "posh" Texaco (complete with air conditioning, couches and an armed guard) and our luxurious apartment-- I'm thinking I got a pretty good deal out of this! 

I'm counting my blessings. On a serious note, Candra saw someone shot-- in broad daylight-- right in front of her, a week after she got here. 

And seeing the emaciated (and abused) dogs around town is heartbreaking. 

My children are a mixed bag. More on them later. 

For now, know that I love y'all! And am thriving in the wilds of Honduras! 

Olancho (the department we are in) is apparently considered the "Texas" of Honduras. Ha ha ha. Of course they sent the Michigan girl here. Candra told me that the motto of Olancho is "Come if you want, get out if you can." Doesn't bode well for us...!!!

when it rains, it pours

The shower is spewing brown muck, so bathing seems rather a moot point.

 Today consisted of

--meeting the director
--meeting (some of) the students
--getting a phone
--setting up a bank account (semi-successful)

and I start teaching tomorrow. Seven different classes tomorrow (13 different classes total, each class occurring about twice a week-- except one = 25.) The curriculum is just as awful as everyone warned me, so that means I'm starting from scratch.

I'm not saying "pity me". I'm saying... real life is hard!

The power is dimming and I think it may soon go out.

so I say, buenas noches!

home

Met Candra, my roommate, and Eric, my neighbor. They both are super nice and I'm looking forward to this year together! Hope they don't get sick of me too quickly. I brought lots of DVDs to distract them.

Went to church with Eric, and boy was that an experience. Lots of clapping, dancing, swaying and shouting. The school's math teacher sat in front of us and translated. He seems so nice, and I'm assured the other teachers are just as great.

Then we were treated to baladeras (am I spelling this right?!) and Eric said they were the second-best he's ever had.

I also am a complete failure at Spanish but folks are very patient with me. At one (low) point I was pointing to a lady and her husband to try and figure out what the word for husband was... I was convinced that "mujer" meant wife but apparently it just means woman. They laughed it off, but I still felt dumb. Basically I am pointing to people and saying "you, Tarzan, me, Jane."

ok, all for now. Have to get up at 5:30 to catch the school bus. And I thought my days on the bus were long over. heh heh heh. of mice and men...

sunday love

Meet Tegucigalpa (the capital): 

 Breakfast at an open-air patio. So lovely! The clouds look darker than they were.

 A jack russel!

and we close with a slow-pan (c'est pout toi, Anna! :P) 

Guess how many times I remember not to throw toilet paper in the toilet?

Never. I never remember.

foreign exchange

Have you ever sensed bugs crawling over you, but when you look you realize it's only a hair or nothing at all?


Except not in Honduras. There really are bugs crawling all over me.


I'm putting up with them as long as they promise not to bite.

at the risk of beating you over the head with the obvious

my middle name is not actually Lee.


I don't want to assume any shared cultural knowledge. If you weren't around in the 60s (like I was), you may have missed the reference my blog title comes from:

I remember my Grampy singing this to me when I was little. And I've loved it ever since-- how many times do you hear "Hannah" pronounced correctly?!

*ok... matter of opinion. whatever. 

nothing to do with Honduras...

...but not sure how easily I'll be able to upload pictures later. Getting my fill now.

These are leftovers on my memory card because my I can't access my stored photos (?!) 

Ruby as a puppy... oh so cute. I know you think you don't like poodles (or dogs!) but that is because you haven't met her. So I'm going to spam you with pictures of her until you relent and admit your adoration! We can be very persistent. 

My baby sister on my grad day... oh man, that was a story and a half. I almost didn't graduate! This was before the crisis began.

My roller derby uniform! ;)

life and this blog are boxes of chocolates. you better like what you get! ha ha! (I'm bossy now.) 

My First Adventure

As soon as I opened my bag, the smell hit me. Nail polish fumes. Could only mean one thing...

An EXPLOSION!

Cleaning up my mess. 

Realizing toilet paper is not supposed to be thrown down the toilet.

 Ah well, welcome to the Coke Side of Life! (and my first Telanovela in the background!)

Seriously... look how huge that bottle is!

Also, regarding the TvNovelas... they would have me believe brown eyes are in the minority. DON'T BE FOOLED! 

and the world spins madly on

I've relented and am playing Ruby's favorite game: Run Around the Coffee Table. Soon my vision rounds out and my feet seem to move without guidance from my head. I worry I'll trip and crash into the table as I begin to waver-- but Ruby continues to charge confidently around just ahead of me. Finally I stop and have to hold on to the table. I look at Ruby and she's not even phased!

I wonder if dogs can get dizzy?

I wonder how soon it will be before I crave simple, effortless moments like these?

Right now I feel like I'm wasting my time-- that I should be do something important, but I don't know what that thing is.

(Well, packing may be one of those things... a blog for another day!)

what's done is done

For better or worse, Honduras here I come!

reticence

I've been finding it really difficult to tell people I'm leaving-- my roller derby team, people I babysit for... it has been such a struggle to write to them. It seems that other times in my life when it was this difficult to make a decision, it was because I internally did not want to make the decision-- and deciding against whatever it was turned out to be the right thing. So I wonder if that is the case this time, too.

What are you afraid of? asks the little voice in my head.

Well....

large bugs
scorpions
tarantulas
dangerous snakes
getting really sick
not being a good teacher
getting fat
hating Honduras
hating the heat
being stranded
getting killed
heights

Hmmm, none of these seem reason enough to stay behind.

Yet, there seems to be something bigger, more vague... lurking in the back of my mind like a dark storm cloud. I can't put my finger on it or call it by name, but I'm afraid of it.

upset stomach

because all of me is upset.

This decision is making me really anxious.

I am pretty sure I'll go... but I can't help but thinking it will be an awful mistake.

I already miss my grandparents and family in Cape Breton.

I'll miss my friends, mentors and all others in between.

I'll miss babysitting for Suzanne and Kathryn and several other wonderful families.

I'll miss little bits of home... the holidays, my puppies, my mom clearing her throat and nagging me to clean my room... no, actually, I will not be missing that! :P

I do worry that things won't be the same.

I worry I'll come back too different-- I won't be able to "fit in" in my city. But maybe this isn't something to worry about-- maybe that is the whole point of going.

just let me blab

By Friday, I have to decide whether or not I'll be heading to Honduras to teach a high school English language arts class for bilingual students. I would be there 'till the end of June, in time to relax for  a summer before heading to grad school in the fall.

Sounds great, except for a few problems.

I haven't even applied to grad school. If I need to take the GRE, I'm screwed. If I absolutely need to take the 2 classes I'm lacking BEFORE starting grad school, I'm also screwed. Unless I could take them over the summer at CC... hmmm, that might be an option!

And do I even for sure want to go to grad school? for social work? to become a therapist? for kids?

So back to Honduras and my problems there...

I don't speak Spanish.
I don't want to get fat. (It's ok to be honest with this blog, right? I worry about eating starchy food all the time... not only does my body resist it via GERD, but I also just don't want to bloat!)
I don't know if the dynamics will be difficult between me and the other 2 teachers already there. A guy and a girl. The girl is really pretty. Maybe they're already in love. How awkward would it be to jump into that?
I read a few blogs/ e-mails from teachers who had worked there. It seems the two guys had a pretty laid- back attitude and did fine, but some of the girls really struggled with their experience. They found their powerlessness to really help frustrating. They found the heat, the school administration, the overwhelming amount of nasty large bugs and machismo also frustrating. Among other things.

But, as my dear mentor Suzanne pointed out,

hannah, i did read more of the blog and noticed that she said, "honduras has changed me for the better" which is remarkable. even in the midst of her frustrations with the administration, bugs, starchy food, she still says it was a great experience for her. anyway, just a little observation. :)