Fake Poor

I've mentioned before the unpleasantness of living under "fake poverty". I view my situation as fake because I have an out-- I could run home, tail between my legs, and my parents would quite gladly accept me under their wing. They would feed and shelter me and I would not have to feel guilty about more than just the fat content of eating peanut butter. At ninety-five lempiras, peanut butter is a ridiculous luxury that I've indulged in too many times (and always suffered for it later).

Yet while my situation is artificial, it has afforded me a glimpse into the frustrations of actual poverty.

It seems I can't catch a break. A long cycle began before this past week; a repeat of the same scenario with different details subbed in.

I ran out of internet because I was watching (and following along with) exercise videos on Youtube.

I had to then pay extra for internet-- 40 lempiras a day.

Next a student stole my internet modem.

I had to pay 500 lempiras for a new modem. (It was another 500 lempiras for a month of internet, but I decided to go the per-day route in case my internet modem was found.)

The internet modem was found. The student still hasn't paid me back.

The school didn't pay all the money I was owed. (This has since been resolved.)

And now I find out that (potentially) I will be working nearly a month without pay, as today supposedly marks my last pay date.

Some words have been written and hopefully this situation will also be resolved.


These are just the broad strokes-- they don't recount the small indignities of being poor. Of feeling guilty for putting so little into the church offering. Of eating the same foods for breakfast, lunch and dinner several days in a row because only lentils and pea soup are in your price range. Of weighing which is the greater offense-- not showing up to a baby shower or attending with the only gift you can afford--clothes hangers. Even though you are legitimately poor, you realize that others automatically equate the shade of your skin with wealth and judge your actions accordingly. And you despise this fact, not for being "judged" but for leaving them with a poor impression of your country without having the opportunity to explain your circumstances.

Another Thing that Does Not Work in Honduras: Humor

Or at least my version of it.


Examples:


Student looking at my MacBook:

"Miss! Something just jumped!"
"I know. It's happy."
*Confused expression*

or


"Hello, Miss Whyte! What is my daughter like in your class?"
"Oh, _________ is a horrible student."
*Alarmed expression*

(Ok, I see where that one may have gone wrong.)



TBC... I wish I could remember more examples!

Struggling faith

this helps:

All: We believe that God is present
in the darkness before dawn;
In the waiting and uncertainty
where fear and courage join hands,
Conflict and caring link arms
And the sun rises over barbed wire.
We believe in a with-us God
Who sits down in our midst
To share our humanity,
A feasting God.*
We affirm a faith,
That takes us beyond a safe place
Into action, into vulnerability,
Into the streets.
We commit ourselves to work for change
And put ourselves on the line;
To bear responsibility, to take risks,
Live powerfully and face humiliation;
To stand with those on the edge;
To choose life
And be used by the Spirit
For God’s new community of Hope. Amen.
(from Iona Abbey Worship Book by The Iona Community)

Things That No Longer Work in my Apartment (A little TMI for your Monday):

1. One half of my (dual) plug-in burner

2. The light above the kitchenette

3. The light in my second room/ walk-in closet (so now 2/4 lights are burnt out)

4. The fan

5. My DVD player
6. The shower head (OK, barely works. Only sustains a small drizzle...)

And, most recently: 

7. The toilet. 

What am I going to do to fix it? 

The same thing I did with all the others. Nothing. Four more weeks, right? I think I can make it.

Keeping a bucket by the bathroom... 

(to force-flush).

A bedtime story.

In the center of the main room in my apartment lies my bed. I chose this strategic location so that I might feel any stray breeze from the ceiling fan above. I've already lamented that this fan is more than ten feet above my head, thus rather ineffective.

This detail is important to reiterate, because when I felt something brush against my shoulder at one in the morning, I knew it couldn't be an errant air current. 

I knew it had to be something else. 

Something alive. 

Something creepy. 

Something crawly. 

I jumped out of bed and flicked on the light. Sure enough, a creepy-crawly-cockroach was attempting to snuggle in beside me. 

I bashed his brains out with a book and ran to bring back toilet paper to properly dispose of him. 

When I came back, I noticed something amiss. HE WAS NOT DEAD! In fact, he flipped himself over and attempted escape. More bashing ensued. 

I threw him in the trash and threw the trash out the door. He was absolutely not going to pull another Evel Knievel on me (or would Houdini be a more appropriate reference?). Then I changed my sheets and determined that tomorrow, I really was absolutely without-a-doubt for sure going to do a royal cleaning of my apartment. 

I will now let you imagine a happily-ever-after ending. 

Goodnight, kids! 

HI!!!!!!!!!

I've been gone. Lo siento.

I thought about random things I could report in between, but none of it seemed worth your time.


So here are all the random things together.

Still not worth your time.



Since April 18 I...

Went to Guatemala:

Got sick, came home early.



had a birthday (happy 23!):

photographed Superdog Lucky (ever on the alert):

Hiked up to Jesus:

(seriously, it was a LONG climb!)

while witnessing cuteness defined: 

And treated to a birds-eye view of Catacamas:

Attended a culture show, complete with adorable children:

Entertained dusk:

And made a new friend.

All in all, a successful month!

ONLY FOUR MORE WEEKS LEFT!